I had an interesting lesson last week regarding a teen client’s self-esteem.  I found it challenging to be speaking with a bright, intelligent, attractive, 16 year old who described herself as lazy.  She went on to say dumb or not that smart, and pretty.  What?!  Ok if a junior in high school thinks she is dumb, then she will most likely not attain better than average.  In fact, even average may be a stretch.  If this same teen believes she is ‘lazy’ then it is highly unlikely that she will put any action into her evening in regards to homework; hence supporting her belief that she is dumb.   Then how does pretty play into this?  Unfortunately this is also an obvious scenario.  Boys will be very important because this is most likely the one area where she has received positive reinforcement, which means she may not be making the best choices for her but liking the attention she is receiving.

Now I ask you, do you know what 3 words your teen uses to describe herself or himself?  It is an interesting question.  And it is also an interesting test to see what 3 words mom and/or dad will select in self-describing as well.