The teen girl had a boyfriend, for 2 months, which her parents knew nothing about.  --- This is very typical in the land of teens, but these parents were devastated.  (As most good parents feel when this occurs.)  So they ended up hacking into “her” computer and looking at her facebook account.  The end result was telling the teen, having her storm out, chasing her down, and then grounding her from everything in the heat of the moment. 

A later scene shows mom and daughter talking calmly and you get the idea that the grounding must be over because she shows up at a family function, with the boyfriend, a short-time later.  So… what happened here?  Daughter got caught lying to parents.  Parents became detectives and felt guilty for spying on their daughter.  Daughter claimed rights to her room and her computer.  Parents felt more guilty.  Parents exploded and set unrealistic parameters on daughter’s behavior.  Daughter finally shared.  Parents felt included and regressed on all of the previous restraints.

This is so typical!  And it is so a family being led, as well as driven, by a teenager. 

Now we have a problem.  Suddenly, the parents are feeling guilty even though they were in the right.  And with a bit more proactive parenting, some of this could be avoided.   

Here are some musts for a family with teenagers:  Let your teen know that the computer is family property and secret passwords aren’t allowed.  Let your teen know your expectations about his/her relationships.  Let your teen know that although you respect her privacy, her room is not considered private. 

It sounds like a minimal conversation and it is --- until there is a problem.  Talk first and then you will not have to react later.